Ayn Frances dela Cruz

The Five Colors of Sorrow

I.

Mix sap green
and blind it with white
until the green of trees becomes
the death-white of forests
of snow.
A landscape for sorrow.

II.

Angle the brush
and dip it in black.
Smear the background with violet,
the color of the heart bruised
and paint the sea with it.
The violent colors of the heart
beating with a furious beat,
the beat of the sea wind
at a storm.
Paint that in.

III.

Take the crimson color
reserved only for blood.
Take that as a symbol for small deaths.
Blood will not mean life this time
but a life hanging on.
Dot the land but leave the seas.
Enough water already
to flood the landscape
and let it flood it
until only the crimson is left.

III.

You need brown also.
Burnt umber and charcoal.
Better buy these fresh
because this will cover
a thousand landscapes
and fresh colors last longer
we know.
You will brown and dull desires
and anger, even anger,
and sorrow.

IV.

Take white unmixed
and let the oils flood your brush
before letting the white seep in.
In a reverse stroke,
cover everything.
Let white be the curtain falling,
the last magical curtsey.

V.

The painting needs flesh also.
So you should be it yourself.
Enter the landscape and paint yourself
covering everything,
becoming everything at once,
every color at once.
Green then violet,
brown then white,
until you and the canvas are one
and some other painter
will sign their name
on your body
remarking over their handiwork.
You,
the filament of sorrow
posing as yourself.

 

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