Nicholas Ripatrazone

On Appearance

When are a man’s shorts too short? The knee is an arbitrary, yet time-honored barrier. Anything lower feigns youth, and anything higher is feminine, because there is nothing less masculine than a thigh. All of this may depend on age, though. Anyone younger than twenty-five is usually exempt from steadfast rules, although a boy of sixteen who wears chinos that barely stretch beyond his underwear will most certainly be considered odd. The latter twenties, the thirties, and perhaps the first two years of the forties are open to experimentation, with any missteps in length easily chalked to a lack of dressing time, idiosyncratic fashion, or inebriation. Some may claim that length is not even the issue, that width is most important. These people appear to return to the same evidence: shorts of perfect length are worthless if they are skin-tight. Admittedly, this point is well-taken, but all parties must agree that any discussion that does not focus on the crotch area is worthless. A man who can not breathe is not much of a man at all.

 

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